The Imperfections of Dating A Semi Celebrity
Knowing someone known
We’ve all heard stories from our friends or mothers about some kid down the road who’s weekly avocado reviews are starting to reach millions of people. Since the first dancing cat video, it’s become even easier for people who adore specialities such as avocados to connect with other avid avocado enthusiasts. Naturally, a king will one day rise among them and take their ripeful* place on top of the mountain. Here we have the social media influencers, the semi celebrities and the writers, often masters of their communities but by and large unknown to the general public.
*intentional
“If I’m not famous by the time I’m 40, I’ll literally die.”
— John. F. Kennedy
I have had the shiny pleasure of a long term relationships with one of these semi celebrities and it led me to some interesting insights about fame and the nature of being simultaneously known and unknown.
We all break laws and play with our genitals.
We all do things we’d rather no one saw. However, the more people we have watching us, the more we feel that natural desire to cover up, to pretend like we’re pristine china dolls of perfection because step out of line JUST ONE TIME and suddenly all those people who thought they loved you, turn against you because they never really knew you at all.
So what happens when a scruffy imperfect young man, still finding his way in life steps onto the stage and into the spotlight of glossy perfection? Do you take on the charade? Do you hide and watch from the sidelines knowing that so much is hidden behind that curtain?
Even the most honest and pure intentioned of famous people are hiding their darkness, hiding their secrets. Those secret things they hide away aren’t necessarily bad or dangerous, just something that others might frown upon, view as unacceptable or worse… unfollow you for. 😱
When dating an influencer it is most beneficial to the relationship to play the part, I learn from my failures. You step into that ‘perfect boyfriend’ character and play into the fantasy that you’re not spending private moments alone watching tv, smoking weed and masturbating. No you were just buying those flowers all day, weren’t you?
In reality that boy who lives down the road might have liked avocados for a period of time but now he eats so many for his fans that he’s fed up and wants to try a different source of healthy, beneficial vegetable fats. Or maybe he does like avocados, like really likes them, enough to leave strange avocado stains in his laundry that his mother is desperately trying to explain away.
As a screenwriter, I relate an influencer’s channel or celebrity social media to a reality tv show. The people you see are real, their struggles and their joys. We all know however that their circumstances are being manipulated for entertainment value. Just as performers set up a stage, so do they. There really is nothing wrong with entertaining, however. After all, that is why celebrities exist.
For me, the issue came when I was unable to distinguish what was real and what was for show, the lines slowly blurring like a hot road in the distance. What was for them and what was for us? Its a silly thing to deny someone perfection but there are moments of authenticity, you’ll catch them out of the corner of your eye, those moments where you think ‘does even she know anymore?’
“There is no Dana, only Zule”
— Zule
As I write this, it seems silly to me. Why shouldn’t celebrities be able to embody perfection? Aren’t we all just looking for that authentic way to be perfect and to be adored by all those around us.
But it’s Hollywood. It’s a shiny movie set propped up by scaffolding and string.
This makes dating all the more difficult. Once you break down those barriers and are lead into the backlot where the actors are grizzled and sets are just being built, you see something. You see how genuinely amazing it all is. Not the glimmer of the show but the majesty of the production, the person behind it all. There is true talent, true genius, true authentic brilliance.
But the show must go on and that knowing makes the show unbearable to watch.
We are all hiding truly beautiful potentials behind these spaghetti strainers that only let through the parts of us we think should be seen. I do a bunch of genuinely scary things but you‘ll never know them and you’ll never truly know me because of it.
The true perfection in dating a Semi Celebrity is getting to know the person behind the projection. The actress behind her or his greatest character. Maybe celebrities will never be able to truly connect in that way with their audiences, and I’m not even saying they necessarily should. I just hope they all have someone who sees past it all, to the farts and the spots.
I hope everyone has a chance to experience what I did with this person.
“It is possible to feel alone when surrounded by people, and even more when surrounded by admirers.”
— God
